Writer & Integral Coach™


I work with womxn hungry to speak their truth. I am a queer feminist nomad obsessed with paying off her debt.

How to get clear on what you need in 2k18.

How to get clear on what you need in 2k18.

Supplementary practice to the blog post On making 2k18 the year you need it to be.

Practice

Unpacking your internal clutter so that you can get clear on what you need 2k18 to be for you.

Purpose

Before you can become more amplified and grow your tribe in 2k18, you’re going to have to sort through the unneeded clutter that’s taking up space in your head and heart. Instead of trying to organize it as you go—and ending up exhausted, overwhelmed and uninspired—you’re going to pull everything out so you can see it clearly and then decide what you’re going to focus on nurturing moving forward. You’re also going to develop your ability to unpack what you’re longing for over time, regardless of how impatient you are. This isn’t about a race to the finish line; this is about creating intentional, measurable and sustainable change in your life. Which maybe isn’t as sexy as some quick-fix promise and is also much more beneficial in the long run. The reality of our lives is that things are always changing. Being able to stay on top of the noise that would drown out your ability to speak and live your truth then becomes an essential part of your process to becoming your full and unapologetic self. This isn’t just about having a rad start to your New Year. It’s about you living your best life for years to come.

So the purpose of this exercise is to develop your awareness around what your specific internal clutter is. The idea here is that we are developing the “muscle” you need to be able to become more aware of who you are and what it is you’re deeply longing for. This practice is also designed to illuminate your current way of being and the ways that it is supporting and hindering you in your life.

Whereas your current way of being resists looking at themself and their longings for the year ahead clearly—because discomfort/overwhelm/anxiety/whatever—your new way of being gets that in order to get clear on what it is that matters most to them in the year ahead, they need to intentionally sort through the clutter that’s dulling their light. Your new way of being knows that it’s easier just to pull everything out of the moment and toss it on the floor before starting to pick through the pile. They trust that they have everything they need already inside them and are able to be discerning about where to focus their attention, energy and effort.

Note: You current way of being is how you are now. By looking at her as something separate from yourself, you’ll be more able to see them objectively in the moment. This will allow you to interrupt them so you can move toward a more articulate and intentional new way of being.

Observations

Daily Practice

Once a day for the next week, take 30 minutes to freehand write 3 full pages about what it is you need 2k18 to be for you. This is based off Julia Cameron’s practice of the Morning Pages and is something I’ve done every morning for years. If you can do it first thing in the morning that is ideal. That being said, if mornings aren’t possible, whenever you can fit them in is perfect. What’s important is that it happens. Every. Single. Day.

  1. Sit down and take a full inhale and long exhale. Allow yourself to arrive in your body and in the moment.

  2. Start writing. If it helps, pick a word or phrase that gets you started. I use “Today.” to break the silence of the blank page.

  3. Keep writing until you’ve filled up 3 full pages (just one side is fine). Don’t edit and don’t judge—just keep your pen moving across the page. Jump around from thought to thought; stop mid-sentence. Let this be your shitty first draft, as Brené Brown says.

  4. You can write “I don’t know what to write” over and over again until something comes up for you. Write about how you’re feeling, what you’re worried about, what’s annoying you. Anything and everything is fair game.

  5. Once you’re done, put your pages to the side and take another deep cycle of breath. Don’t look over your pages until the end of the week.

  6. And off you go into the rest of your day!

Daily Reflection Questions

At the end of the day: Please take an additional 5-10 minutes to reflect on the experience of unpacking your mind and heart clutter so that you can become more articulate and clear about what you need 2k18 to be for you:

  1. What are your current way of being’s beliefs around what they need in order to make time to do this practice?

  2. How did your current way of being react to being asked to do this exercise?

  3. Where did you check within your body to check in with yourself before you started writing?

Weekly Reflection Questions

At the end of each week: Please take 20-30 minutes to reflect on the experience of unpacking your mind and heart clutter so that you can become more articulate and clear about what you need 2k18 to be for you:

  1. What did you learn about what your current way of being thinks they need in order to be able to do this practice of decluttering their internal world?

  2. What patterns did you notice in how your current way of being pushed back against doing this exercise?

  3. How did your body support you in—or keep you from—checking in with yourself in this way?

Final Note

Part of interrupting your current way of being so you can move towards your new way of being means being able to see your current way of being in the moment. When your current way moves from being subjective to being objective—”Oh, there I am!”—then you can shift in the moment towards your new way of being. So, while the “doing” of practices is important, it’s just as important to be aware of your way of doing the practice. Ultimately, your current way of being will push back against change so, even if you have a comprehensive list of what you need to do, that’s not going to help if your current way keeps tripping you up. When you work with me in the Integral Coaching™ container, I will design unique metaphors for you that will make seeing your current way of being and new way of being a much easier. The practices I design for you as a coach will also be tailored to your specific ways of being. This will allow for faster change to take place.

 

 

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 On where to begin when you're hungry to speak your truth.

On where to begin when you're hungry to speak your truth.

On making 2k18 the year you need it to be.

On making 2k18 the year you need it to be.