Earlier this week, I thought that my main writing client had ghosted me. And with that, over 70% of my income for the year.
Of course, I panicked and moved through the necessary steps of processing financial despair. While I have had sudden and painful changes in my financial situation before, it never feels less catastrophic.
Despite the consistency of feeling, however, this time I responded differently.
After a few days of trying to regain my footing, I sat down and came up with a new plan for myself. I started by cutting every unnecessary expense out of my budget.
Then, I completely reworked my professional services and outlined what I needed to do in order to start drumming up new business at the beginning of next week.
I took the fear and frustration I was feeling and put them aside. I noted what I’d learned from this experience as not to repeat it in the future.
And then I got to work.
Instead of my old way of feeding fear and the narrative that I didn’t have enough to recover from this financial curveball, I moved forward with the new belief that I did have enough. Just enough.
Just enough money to scrape by without putting myself further into debt until I had new, paying clients. Just enough contacts that I wouldn’t have to start with cold leads in order to fill my roster. Just enough to make this work.
The alternative was to slip into a spiral of self-soothing. It was to deny the reality of this sudden financial upheaval and start spending money because I was obviously doomed to a life of debt.
What’s a little more debt going to change? At least I’ll feel good in the moment.
Not only does this way of thinking make your financial situation even more precarious, it also supports the systemic economic inequality that prevents people from creating the financial stability they need to improve financial reality.
Money is complex and can be used as a tool for oppression. And while your identity may put you at an economic disadvantage that you have little control over, further supporting the capitalist systems that profit more off you feeling like you’re not enough and/or don’t have enough is something you can choose not to buy into.
With this in mind, I did not give into that hopeless way of thinking and I also didn’t get angry. I had enough to keep going and that became my focal point.
I was surprised when I learned late yesterday that my client hadn’t disappeared. Something out of their control had happened and they were ready to move forward with the project.
I was too emotionally exhausted by the situation to be excited and I was glad to be back on track.
I also have some new terms for them to agree to before I start to work on the project again.
Knowing now that I have enough to get by and create new business without them means that I can risk the relationship to ensure this sort of issue doesn’t come up again. And while this was a very stressful experience, it taught me what’s possible when I let myself believe that I have just enough.
So, what’s possible when you believe you have just enough?