Let it be easy.
When I moved home just after my 30th birthday, it felt like defeat. I had planned to be debt-free, financially stable, and doing my best creative work by then. Instead, I was going deeper into debt, was financially unstable, and was growing tired of being a freelance writer. What’s more, after years of living abroad, my precarious finances meant that I had to return to the one geographical location that I promised myself I’d never live again. While I didn’t know it at the time, I was about to learn a lesson in allowing things to be easy.
I’m fortunate that I have folks who didn’t mind me moving back in with them while I got my finances and creative practice sorted. I’m also fortunate that life has a way of course correcting on my behalf. This wasn’t the first time the path I was on had exploded into a million pieces. Still, I’m was no more gracious at accepting this redirection at 30 than I was at 20. Instead, I continued to fight my way upstream, animated by the belief that these challenges were opportunities for me to prove how badly I wanted the things I was reaching for.
Despite my stubbornness and determination, I eventually got to a breaking point. Unlike the self-made catastrophes from my past, this was a gradual disintegration of how I thought I needed to move through the world. I began to consider what it would feel like to let things be easy. To fully embrace being one of “those Millennials” who moved home as an adult; to lap up every bit of support and possibility that was being offered; to wield my privilege fully so I can serve the folx who need what I have to offer.
Being open to ease has been an uncomfortable process. In the beginning, it felt like I was free falling. In the back of my mind I was certain that I was only one day away from a huge bump in the road. It took me the better part of a year to realize that things wouldn’t fall apart like they had in the past. I had gotten out of my own way and I could finally see that I was always my biggest roadblock. Still, having not fully let go of my reckless ways, I decided to throw myself in this ease and see just how far it would take me.
I haven’t yet reached a limit. From finding Room Project to being introduced to my creative soul twin, my writing is flourishing. What’s more, my online course is coming together in unexpected and wonderful ways. Making puppets is easy and the money I need to fund my projects is flowing in just in time. If that weren’t wonderful enough, I recently met someone who works at NPR’s Story Lab who said I can pitch my podcast to him once I’ve gotten it off the ground. Easy is good. It’s still a lot of work and it feels right. Like I’m exactly where I need to be.
So, what will allow you to access greater ease in your life?