Money and art.
I have been diligently paying down my debt since the middle of last year. Creating the financial stability I was longing for was slow going and I was making progress.
Then, at the beginning of this year, I discovered that I had close to $6,000 in debt that I hadn’t accounted for.
I was devastated. All of the progress I had made was gone.
I have spent the last few weeks trying not to think about it. Circling the truth that it’s going to take me longer than planned to get out of debt.
Longer than planned to free myself from the thing that causes me an overwhelming amount of anxiety.
I tried to soothe the heaviness I felt by reading articles about the student debt crisis. I watched talks about the systemic economic problems that so many different demographics face.
Nothing helped. My longer debt repayment timeline still weighed heavily on me.
Even more discouraging is the thought of trying to help people with less privilege and power than me create financial stability so they can do their best work.
I want to help writers and artists who don’t have a lot of money be more able to create their art.
Today this feels like the most ludicrous and important idea I’ve ever pursued.
Ludicrous because it is a complete departure from what I know about choosing the right market to serve and build a financially viable business off of.
Important because with growing political and economic instability the thing our society needs most to heal and connect us is art.
While I am perpetually worried about my finances, I’m sure my anxiety pales in comparison to that of other creatives. I know it does. I still have enough privilege on my side to see an end to my financial stress.
I still have enough privilege on my side that I can take care of myself as I shovel every remaining dollar towards my debt.
As much as I am feeling discouraged, I am also feeling hopeful. Because creating even just a little more financial stability for myself has given me space to start writing my book. And that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.
So, what do you need to create your art?