Writer & Integral MAsTER Coach™

You are this.

You are this.

This week’s poem is by Yesenia Montilla. I chose it because I am enraged by the legislation around abortion that’s happening in the U.S. right now. While I am relatively unaffected as a Canadian (for now) I am angered by the way that bodies—women’s bodies, Black bodies, fat bodies, trans bodies, Indigenous bodies, disabled bodies, POC bodies—are being increasingly controlled and harmed. This is not progress and it is not okay.

I appreciate the way this poem illuminates one person’s attempt to rewrite their bodily identity outside of the external desires and beliefs that shaped them.

What stories about your body are you rewriting right now?

:: Searching for My Own Body ::

Yesenia Montilla


Which is to say that like a good theoretical objectified body, my identity was created not by me but by the various desires and beliefs of those around me.

– Daniel Borzutzky

My body is a small cave door                     
it’s a slick whale a jubilant
sea of tall grass that sways
& makes its way across countries          
& lovers             I love        love-making
I don’t remember a time when             
I wasn’t interested in touch
I have these breasts
& some         would want to come     
on hands      & knees to worship them               
call me flower         or            desert
Maybe I was only supposed to be
stone or a baby eel                    
long & layered          a nun?
I don’t remember ever saying  
             yes      just no
I am searching   for my own body  
not the one I was told is so                    
I want to be always  open
    like a canyon
Maybe I was only supposed to be           
tree or temple              
In some circles I am
just an open gate          
a sinful  bauble 

Once someone said you are       this      
& I  never questioned it

I am searching           my own body   
for                God

or someone like her—

We can make art.

We can make art.

Fully supported.

Fully supported.